Recently I had a few weeks, where I was just overwhelming exhausted all of the time. I just couldn’t seem to snap out of it. It didn’t help that the baby wasn’t sleeping great and most nights I ended up on the couch with the dog. Oddly enough the baby sleeps better with my husband, so that’s cool. So, when we are unable to get her back down in her own bed she ends up in ours, I end up on the couch with the monitor and get up when our 3 year old wakes up. Which lately was super early due to jet lag from our vacation.
Finally one day, I got a decent nights sleep ALL night in my bed and even got to “sleep in” and woke up feeling almost like a million bucks. Was it just sleep that I needed? I was still overly short and on edge with my family so it wasn’t just sleep. It was deeper than a good nights sleep, I couldn’t remember the last time I woke up feeling fresh and not tired.
Just like every other phase we have been through, I know this won’t last. However, I feel like the months are just flying by and some days I can barely remember what happened that week. I want to remember these days, when the babies are little, when they still want and need me. There is no doubt in my mind that one day they will grow up and not need me like they do now.
Some days I look back on pictures when my first was a baby and honestly don’t remember her being that little. My brain hurts, I forget important days, I get mad at myself when I can’t get to everything on my to do list. I want to remember these days, I want to cherish the baby giggles, the sweet snuggles that make the world slow down just a little bit. I am not sure how to not be tired, to feel caught up, to snap out of the mommy fog for more than one day. However, I do know these days won’t last forever and in the midst of the fog I will keep holding my babies a little longer and take more pictures so when day I can look back and hopefully remember most of the precious parts of these days.