Mother’s Day is a holiday that I didn’t quite get as a kid. Then after my own mother was no longer a part of my life, it was a day that just made me sad. It wasn’t until I was dating my now husband, that I understood more of what Mother’s Day meant to others. By the time I met my husband, a mother figure was so far removed from my life that it felt odd to celebrate it with anyone. However, it was so nice to be part of a family where celebrating Mother’s Day was special and you could tell it meant something to everyone.
Now as a mom myself, I kinda just want a break on Mother’s Day. I also want to be dotted on and not have to do anything, which frankly as a mother with young kids at home is impossible. Even if I had the chance to be home all day by myself, I would end up doing stuff cause it’s hard to just sit still now.
Last year on Mother’s Day, I was 9 months pregnant with a rambunctious 2 year old running around. We went to brunch and I envied my sisters mimosas. My daughter had a new dress on that was destroyed with chocolate by the time we left. It became one of her favorite dresses and she wore it all the time despite the stains. My husband gave me flowers and everyone at the restaurant showered all the moms with Mother’s Day wishes. I am sure I took a nap that afternoon, or at least attempted with my big belly.
My (not so secret) dream Mother’s Day would be brunch with my family and then alone time at a hotel with a spa and pool for the rest of the day. Complete with room service, my favorite wine and a full nights sleep. Being a mother is the best thing I have ever done. It is also hands down the hardest thing as well. Sometimes I feel bad needing a break, as if I am not a good enough mom because I want a break from my children. When I do get a “break” half the time I am doing chores and I think about them a lot when they are not around. Deep down, I love being needed and wanted and knowing that I can provide what they need and have grown and nourished them all by myself. However at the end of a day, after being touched, climbed on, sucked on, yelled at, spit up on, taking care of their needs first non stop… I am just done.
This Mother’s Day is different than any other I have encoutnered in my lifetime. I am now a mother of two children and in the middle of a worldwide pandemic that has quarantined my fmaily to our home for the past two months. As Mother’s Day approaches, I realize my role as a mother is more important than ever right now. It’s also harder than ever right now and I know regardless of everything I do not like right now. I will remember this Mother’s Day for the rest of my life.